"When I was attending a support group for survivors, the counselors taughtJacki
us that fighting back is an option. Whatever we needed to do to survive
the rape was the appropriate response. My attacker was at least 100 lbs.
heavier, and a foot taller than I. Fighting back was not an option for me.
For some women it is. There is no shame in not fighting back.
I personally could not use a gun, but that's just me. More power to anyone
who can. I wish I *had* been able to shoot him.
To fight or not is a decision to be made at the time of attack. Whatever
works to survive the attack is the right response."
A quote by Andrea Dworkin taken from a Dallas radio interveiw.
"From the point of view of a woman, there is no way of identifying somebody who will rape from somebody who won't. There is no test, there is no pathology, no psychologist has been able to locate a profile that shows that one man is different from another, since most women are raped by men that they actually know, that they feel close with, that they feel some friendship for. The experience of women is that we look out to a world of men and we are unable to differentiate between them."
We don't ask to be sexually assaulted. The person who assulted you is to
blame for forcing himself on you. and taking away your control,
regardless of where you go, how you may be dressed or whether or not
you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the assault.
Sexual assault is a crime of violence. It is power and control.
It happens when a man thinks that his feelings and desires
are more important than yours.
You are not to be blamed
Michelle
Place no blame
The link below is where I copied the text. This link is no longer working
but I leave it here as I do not have any other way to give credit.
www.iceonline.net/vortex/vortex/wavaw.htm
Many people believe that women who are sexually assaulted
"ask for it" somehow - by dressing a certain way,
being out alone at night or using alcohol or drugs. Many also believe
that rape only happens in dark places and that men who rape are crazy,
sick or sexually frustrated.
"I wonder what I did to turn that nice guy into a raving maniac."
The truth is that all women are potential targets for rapists.
Women of all ages, classes and races are sexually assaulted.
Most often women are sexually assaulted by men they know.
It may be a relative, friend, neighbour, or husband. Sexual assault
often happens in the woman's own home or the rapist's home or somewhere
that feels safe. Men who rape are not sick or perverted; they are men
who want to dominate and control women. They cannot be picked out from
other men. They may be popular and attractive.
Women do not ask to be raped. We have the right to feel safe at all
times, to wear what we want and to go wherever we want. People who blame
women for being raped are forgetting that men alone are responsible for
their actions. Men can control themselves; they choose not to.
Sexual assault is a violent and life threatening attack. Whatever you
did to survive this violation was correct.
As a survivor, you will be beginning a new process, a process of regaining
control and putting your life back together. A process of healing and
recovering. Although you may feel like a "victim" because of the assault
and the lack of control you experienced during it, we recognize that it
took a great deal of courage and personal strength to survive.
You are a survivor!
We are sorry that you were assaulted. It WAS NOT your fault!
We offer our
support and assistance as you begin your recovery.